The apathy surrounding Tavares’s CRA dispute is emblematic of Toronto

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The uncharitable thought that crossed my mind while reading that Toronto Maple Leafs captain John Tavares is ready to fight the federal government over millions in back taxes is, ‘Maybe they should start taping his cheques to the puck’.

At issue is Tavares’s signing bonus, which comprises the vast majority of his US$77-million deal. The Leafs thought they had loopholed their way to free-agent nirvana. The Canada Revenue Agency has other ideas. The difference is $8-million, not including lawyers’ fees.

At the very least, it’s a solid retirement plan. More former pros have been ruined by sloth than drink. Now Tavares has a pastime built in – he’s a hobbyist litigant.

In every report on the story, a few paragraphs are thrown in noting how the results of this case may have an impact on the Leafs’ ability to attract top free agents.

Too right. Who wants to come to the biggest, most avidly followed hockey club on Earth to make many millions of dollars with zero expectation of success and have to pay taxes, too? You’ve got your own doctor at work. How is it fair that you also have to pay for everyone else’s doctors? Ridiculous.

If a soccer star in England sued to get out of paying his taxes – regardless of how right he was about it – every luxury in his life would be catalogued, photographed and laid out in the tabloids. He would be ruthlessly mocked in every away stadium forever. It would be a media slaughterhouse.

Here? Nothing.

I don’t blame Tavares for trying to grab as much as he possibly can for himself, but that’s not the same thing as thinking it’s okay. How many MRI machines can you buy with $8-million? How many beds in nursing homes could you open up? How much is enough for any one person?

These are all fun things to yell at each other, the Leafs and Tavares about. But not in Toronto.

Though it is only one day old, the story is already burning off like a morning fog. No sputtering editorials or sports-radio drone strikes. General apathy.

More than goaltending or five-on-five scoring, this is why the Leafs are the way they are. This is why they haven’t won anything in coming up on 60 years. Because everyone complains, but no one cares enough to do anything about it. The Leafs live in a consequenceless sporting environment. Most important, they know it.

It wouldn’t work if you raised a child this way, and it doesn’t work with hockey teams either.

Whenever they do do something right – any little thing – they are overpraised for achieving the bare minimum.

This past weekend, the Leafs organization helped pull off a non-disastrous all-star game. Because it’s Toronto, a lot of people showed up. As much as hockey players ever do, the participants seemed to enjoy themselves. Auston Matthews was the star of the (pointless) show.

From the notices, you’d think the club had just rebuilt the pyramids. People are gushing over Matthews like he is the reincarnation of Rocket Richard (minus the championships). This halo is large enough to cover the entire organization. Like France circa 1940, it doesn’t win any wars, but it does put on a great party.

Once Justin Bieber and his Extremely Large Coat made their way out of town, it was not back to reality. About two-thirds of the way through the season, the Leafs are just above .500 hockey, but – again – nobody is all that worried about it.

In years past, it was possible to kid yourself about how a switch would flip in the playoffs:

The production from Toronto’s top three players (we’re already past expecting Tavares to turn into a 2016 version of himself in the postseason) would continue uninterrupted; the defence would suddenly, and for no discernible reason, tighten up; and whoever’s in net this year would turn into Vladislav Tretiak.

It’s never worked out that way, but people lived in hope.

This year, even the Leafsiest Leafs’ fan cannot delude themselves. They don’t even have a No. 1 goalie, never mind a reliable one. They’re running out a two-man defence most nights, which means there’s a half-hour of game time where the offence is expected to play defence by playing offence. If they can’t outscore people, they can’t win.

These problems will get much worse when the postseason begins. Right now, it’s a 50-50 shot whether the Leafs will manage to get that far.

Two, three years ago, whenever Sheldon Keefe went off on the team – which was exceedingly rarely – it was a big deal. The players felt the need to hit back.

After Tuesday’s loss to the New York Islanders, Keefe ripped the team sideways – “That’s peewee stuff” – and no one cared. It’s the Leafs. Of course, they’re playing like peewee players. After taxes, they’re only making enough to carry one cottage on Lake Joe and a condo in Palm Springs. What do you expect for that kind of money? Miracles?

It’s got to the point where the players – the core of whom have been together their entire careers – don’t even hear criticism. Beyond a few waves at ‘Yeah, we gotta try harder,’ they certainly don’t feel any need to react to it.

In a more engaged and empowered sports city, Keefe would be coaching for his life right now. But in Toronto, everybody understands there’s only so much this poor guy can do to change things. It’s not as though he has any power over these people. We don’t care, so they don’t care, so why would he care?

The resilient myth that underpins Leafs fandom is that things are always about to change. How will that happen? It’s a mystery. But one day, a player or a coach or a GM will come along who will turn regular-season water into postseason wine.

It’s bound to be true eventually because every possible thing will happen in all possible futures. But right now, this year, with this crew, in this city, without any pressure to change, it doesn’t feel like it’s going be true for a long time yet.